Stronger

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”-Lou Tzu

Throughout human history this has been proven time and time again. When tyrants come and terrorize people, there are always those who oppose them. Someone who will fight to protect those they love, to give them the life they never had. I often find myself wondering about the worst possible scenarios and how would I handle them.

I have a vivid imagination.

My worst fear is being a coward, and/or breaking the few principles I have set forth. On my worst days I get really insecure about several different things and I don't know what to do. I fear the unknown. I fear my own future, that I will be stuck in some dead-end job busting my ass so I can make end's meat. I fear that I will amount to nothing. Make nothing out of myself.

Go through life wasting away.

I fear not living just surviving. I get these days quite often. People around me can usually never tell. It feels like a sickness. But then I remember the cure.

I remember those who care about me. That when the chips are down, they will be there. Wrapped around me like a security blanket, I've surrounded  myself with real people. People who will take me as me. Trust me it was easier said than done. Most people are two-face and backstabbers.

If I've ever  learned one thing it's this. Backstabbers only have power when your back is turned.

So those chosen few? They have earned my trust. I trust them with my life and everything I have. So on my bad days I remember those few, and it gives me strength to go on. Strength to better myself and strength to challenge myself. Those chosen few give me the strength to overcome those challenges. I find myself protective over them. To the extreme.

No, I'm not the biggest dog in the cage.
Yes, I will fuck you up if you mess with my team.

I find myself visibly angry if one of my friends is threatened. Most of my friends can take care of  themselves. Although there are the less confident ones. Those I try to help boost there confidence and let them know I am here for them. Now I don't know if they look up to me or anything. Sometimes I feel like they do. I realize that my head swells and I tend to show my ass. I try to keep those moments at a minimum. But I am human. Hopefully though they can see past my bullshit and see the courage and strength they give me. The Strength to deal with my own shit, and the courage to face anything head on for them.

With them I am Stronger. With them nothing can touch me. With them there is not a hard time invented I cannot handle. I don't know if they will read this, but if they do they know who they are. The only thing I got to say is.

Thank you.