Envy me; Hate me; Rate me. Face it.. You're never gonna be me.
I can't take credit for this. I don't know who said it, but still it applies. I just graduated my seiner year, and I was thinking about my time spent in high school. What I would do differently or what I would do the exact same. The good, the bad, and the ugly times throughout my stint at Cabot High. I came to the conclusion that with the exception of my study habits I wouldn't change a thing. I would leave everything just as it is. I can't complain. I had some of the best friends a man could ask for. One thing I did notice though, was that high school is a very volatile place. Think about it, most who go are completely unprepared and are surrounded by people who judge them furiously. Now I wasn't the most popular kid in school but I had several friends from all walks of life. So different people would throw different tabs on me, for example I remember one instance in my sophomore year, I remember it as clear as it was yesterday. I was talking to a friend in my Chemistry class about what we would love to do with our lives after school, what we would major in, or what would be a great profession that suited our personalities to the best of our standards. In passing I said something about how I love history, and how it would be extremely cool if I could be a history teacher. A girl who shall remain nameless turned around and looked dead at me and laughed in my face, and said five words to me:
"You? Be a history teacher?"
I said yeah why not? I could do it. She turned around without another word. Now at the time it didn't bother me. Later on though I got to thinking. Why couldn't I? What made her say that? Then it hit me.
She thought she was better than me.
How she thought she was better than me I'm not really sure. As a person? As a student? I don't really know. Now this was a defining moment in my life. This really bothered me. I couldn't shake the feeling for I don't know how long. That I wasn't anything special. So for a unspecified amount of time I just went about my business wallowing in my own self pity. Then one moment the pity stage passed I just woke up angry. Who was she to say that? She's not a better person than me just because she has straight A's or because she's a virgin, or even because she's never tried drugs. Eventually I got wiser. I stopped being angry, and I just did what I do best. Piss off everybody that sets their prejudices against me. That insecure shell of who I was died and a new me rose out of the ashes. I decided that I will succeed at everything I try at. I consider school a success, because by god I graduated. I also realized that there will be people who are like that everywhere who just love to tear into people unprovoked. I also realized people like me are a problem for those people. Now DO NOT MISTAKE MY CONFIDENCE FOR ARROGANCE. If I fail at something which happens a lot, I will try until I succeed. Depending on how much I care for that particular activity. I still try and I think thats the most important thing. I try to set an example for other insecure people, the way they should act when they see the mythical, dreaded, "hater". Those people will never be happy in life. Because there are people like me who will be that one problem in that hater's life that will never ever be solved.
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